Trust Me When I Tell You, I Know How To Host

I love having people over. I also, sometimes (always), find myself standing in the middle of my house approximately forty-five minutes before people are supposed to arrive, wondering why the fuck I thought this was a good idea.

The house isn't ready. The food isn't ready. I'm not ready. Suddenly, I'm considering canceling the whole thing, changing my name, and moving somewhere nobody knows me.

Hard to believe... but I'm kind of an introvert. An introvert who loves people - in controlled doses - preferably with good wine. And while I haven't mastered everything in life (or even close), trust me when I tell you...

The secret? It's not about being perfect... it's about being prepared for the inevitable pre-party panic. A few things I've learned along the way...

The day before... get your shit together.

The food.
For the love of God, do not choose the day of your dinner party to experiment with a recipe you've never made before. This is not the time to discover you're actually quite bad at making soufflé... Make something you know. Something you can prep ahead. Something that doesn't require you to stand over a stove for three hours while your guests entertain themselves. I love a meal that can be mostly prepared in advance... or even better, by someone else. Put out some olives, good cheese, and something salty. People love salty.

The drinks.
Stock the bar. Chill the wine. Have sparkling water, ice.... and the ingredients for whatever you're serving ready to go. You do not want to be searching the back of a cupboard for a corkscrew while your first guests are standing in the kitchen holding a warm bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

The outfit.
Choose it the day before. And for the love of God, try it on. This is not the time to try a new look... discover you hate it, and throw every item of clothing you own across the bedroom. You want to feel like yourself... when in doubt, wear something black.

The day of.... prepare, but don't make it weird.
Obviously, clean your house. Give the bathroom a once-over, clear the kitchen counters, make sure there are enough glasses, and put away the things you don't want people tripping over (or knowing you own).
But please don't spend the entire day scrubbing your house into a state of clinical perfection. You're having people over.... not preparing for a real estate photographer.

A home should feel welcoming, not like everyone's afraid to touch anything.
Set the table ahead of time. Put the serving dishes out. Know where everything is going. If you can do something an hour earlier, do it. The goal is to get to the point where the essentials are taken care of.
And then, perhaps the most important part...

Put on the fucking music.
Not when the guests arrive. Now. Music changes the energy of a house... it makes the kitchen feel less like a workplace... it sets the mood. Put on Lauryn Hill. Pour yourself a little (big) glass. Finish getting ready... and remind yourself that you invited these people over because you actually like them.

When the doorbell rings...
This is where people go wrong. They've spent weeks planning an evening, hours preparing for it, and then disappear into the kitchen the moment everyone arrives. Finish whatever genuinely needs finishing, but don't spend the entire night cooking, plating, wiping, rearranging, and apologizing. Ew... have a few easy appetizers ready to go. Something people can pick up, something to drink, somewhere comfortable to gather. Let people help themselves. If someone offers to help, let them. You don't get extra points for refusing assistance while visibly unraveling...

And if dinner is running ten minutes late? Nobody gives a fuck pour another drink. The point is to create an atmosphere where people can relax. That starts with you... if you're frantic, everyone feels it.

A few final things...
Light the candles, but don't make the house smell like you've opened a Le Labo. Turn off the overhead lights. Make sure people have somewhere comfortable to sit.... and always have more wine than you think you'll need. And don't apologize for your house. Don't apologize for the food. Don't apologize for the music, the flowers, or the fact that your sofa has actually been sat on... you invited people into your home. Let them experience it - and you.

So yes, plan ahead.... get the food ready, chill the wine, choose the outfit.

Then put on your lipstick, pour yourself a glass, and open the door. And if, forty-five minutes beforehand, you find yourself contemplating canceling the entire thing? Welcome to the club. You're probably going to have a great night.